Thursday, January 30, 2014

16 and growing up

"Hold your 16 as long as you can" - Sam Evans 


               The quote above is the most memorable glee quote in my head. Sam dropped that bomb to Quinn. Speaking of holding 16, Today is the final day of 16 years old me. Well, right now is pretty much my final hours of being 16. Unlike another birthday(s), i feel kinda nervous about it. Tomorrow i'm 17 and I'm no longer a kid! finally after years of waiting, i can have my own KTP yay! Eat dat shit you police you can't give me ticket anymore cos i have my own driving license! and  While other kids are having sweet 17 party and get wasted, now i'm here in front of my laptop sitting and thinking about what i should do and what i should not do for my future. Seriously I don't need those party seriously i'm a university student i feel ashamed to throw one lol :D Yea  let's skip this awkward part

               My last birthday was a completely different one with the one that i gonna have today. I was in high school preparing for final examination. I still remember my 16 birthday was the best i had so far. My friends threw a surprise for me and Abram, one of my good friend hid from me all day long. My friends lied that abram was sick and didn't go to school. Yet when i got home, i changed my clothes and suddenly my friends and abram went to my room. It was a casual birthday surprise, but what makes it special is that was my last birthday in high school and i know what i will have next year is a completely different birthday. It turns out i was right. We are all busy we barely meet each other even we live in the same area. Maybe we still communicate through electronic devices but it doesn't feel the same as laughing and sitting next to each other. Instead of throwing a party, i invited my closest friends to a fancy dinner at one of the best hotel in town and yes we had a good time,

                I also remember my last birthday my family did a birthday dinner. I was out with Benji and Soyong and  they went home with me. I always wanted a new laptop back then, i used my brother's macbook because my laptop sucks. My family pranked me by giving me a lot of presents and when i opened those presents they are all my family's weird stuff like my mom's home sandal, even my own fake iPhone 5 that i bought in China! I was about to disappointed knowing i didn't get what i want. Turns out my daddy's present was a  15" macbook pro. What a family, right? for god sake mom's sandal? it really made me laugh :D

                I got a lot of present and well it surprises me. I still remember from my closest friends i got A unicorn plush, a clutch, and a shirt. My brother gave me yoga mat and training suit (he is the best i swear) and from my dad i got laptop. From my best friend i got another plush. I got many plushes. And from my best best best friend (you know who you are jink) i got a zebra necklace and from my other best best best friend i got a real cute eeyore toy. It feels amazing how little details captured in my brain.

                this 16 age is the most confusing and heartbreaking year I've ever been through. I cried a lot. I didn't pass scholarship test. I got 5 months holiday. My best friends and I got separated. I said goodbye to high school. I didn't get 100 on my math final exam. I got dumped for the first time (lol?). I met a lot of amazing esmod people, yes you guys my swagger. I got drunk for the first and i swear the last time, Sorry mom if you read this. I confessed my love to my lifetime crush. I had an affair with a gay senior. I enrolled to one of the best fashion school in Jakarta. I wasn't a prom queen but it's okay i will put it in this list anyway. II went to Bali and snuck out to meet a boy. went to new york, my dream city. I could drive a car and i got so many accidents even a fatal-and-i-almost-killed one. I went to a sewing course and make my very first skirt. I am able to sleep alone in apartment,fyi i can't stand loneliness it's an achievement for me to sleep alone. I walked in a runway for the first time. I got a lot of trouble to park my ride rightly. I left my toughest blackberry and switched to iPhone. I couldn't be even OUTSIDE of home after 6 and after living alone i could go to monas in midnight. And many many many more uncountable lists. but there's one more thing i need to list down, I grow up.


I grow up.


Regarding all my chitty chat above, I think Growing up is about being a better person tomorrow by learning from yesterday mistake and living the fullest of right now. Growing up is also about accepting the fact and letting it go. To love your nicest companions.  To treat people right.  To appreciate people. To make your family (and other people too) happy with simple and cheesy surprises. To Keep praying to Allah and be the best version of you. People you have today might not be beside you tomorrow. And that's okay! What I need to do is accept it and hoping they will have all the finest thing in life. People you love might not love you back. And that's okay! Let it go, remember? Life is bitter but so what coffee is bitter too but i still love it. Just for now, i hope i will score all my future goal. I promise i will do my best and won't let people around me down. Tomorrow i'm a 17 years old addina. yea, it feels good.